Hello, and welcome to The Hummingbird Nest. I’m Kathy Barlow, your hostess, writing to you in the golden hour from my office near the Canadian Rockies in Alberta. The house is still quiet, a candle is lit, my coffee is still hot, and my granddog Cora is curled up in her bed at my feet, snoring. Outside my window, the trees are turning yellow, purple, and red, a few leaves letting go each time the wind passes through.
The Hummingbird Nest is a virtual retreat center for women in midlife, and everything I make here comes back to what I value most: calm, creativity, and connection. This morning, connection is on my mind. So pull up a chair, because I have a story to tell you about a fun weekend getaway, a Saturday evening in Victoria, a table full of women, and a few unfinished pumpkins.
Before we begin, I'd love for you to take a moment to arrive. I've recorded a short practice for you, just a few minutes of breathing and settling in. Press play below, close your eyes if you like, and come back to the story when you're ready. You'll find it in The Garden too, whenever you need a moment to arrive.
A long line of connectors
Connection is in my DNA. My grandma and my mom were both great connectors. They were always looking for the next opportunity to make a connection, chat with a stranger, meet a new friend, or discover in conversation some surprise link that proves how small the world is. Most of all, they made time to connect with friends and family. I come by it honestly.
A weekend by the sea
Last weekend I travelled to Victoria, BC, for a getaway with two of my besties, one who lives in Victoria and one who flew in from Quebec. We had so much fun dining and crafting together, scouring the beach for beach glass and tossing wish stones into the Salish Sea. We even took the ferry to Salt Spring Island for the apple festival, a sure sign that autumn has arrived.
Around the table at Imagine Studio Cafe
On the Saturday evening, I gathered with a group of women at Imagine Studio Cafe for my in-person event, Experience Your Inner Cozy. Another friend travelled all the way from Ontario to join us. Five of us around that table are part of The Kitchen Table, our monthly virtual gathering, and this was our chance to sit side by side in person. Joining us were women from Victoria, whom I was so happy to welcome, and before long it was hard to tell who knew whom from where.
We took a moment to arrive, shared a seasonal ritual, and passed the story bowl, then settled in to stitch little pumpkin wall hangings.
Partway through, I felt a pang of disappointment in myself. I hadn’t left enough time. Wool pumpkins and leaves were still waiting to be stitched to their linen, needles were half-threaded, and I could see no one would finish.
Then something arrived. Call it a message or a feeling. I realized the pumpkin was only ever a doorway.
In 35 years of gathering women, I’ve seen it again and again. We come for the project, and we stay for each other. A little wool pumpkin gives our hands something to do, and busy hands seem to make room for open hearts. Somewhere between threading a needle and choosing a leaf, someone shares a story she hadn’t planned to tell, and someone else across the table says, “Me too.”
With each stitch, the conversation opened a little more, and that’s where the evening came alive.
Afterwards, one woman told me that making something together was bonding. I think she named what so many of us are hungry for. We want connection, and so often it begins around a kitchen table, with something shared in the middle and room for everyone to pull up a chair.
Everyone went home with an unfinished pumpkin, finishing instructions, and a little box that said “a little cozy to carry home.” I love that the evening held both: something still in progress, and something complete to hold.
Coming this autumn: a retreat for friendship
I keep thinking about how many ways friendship finds us. Some friends we’ve known for decades. Others we meet in a cafe, on a beach walk, or in a little square on a screen once a month, and then one day we’re stitching pumpkins side by side.
That’s what I’ll be gathering around this autumn. I'm hosting a half-day retreat devoted to friendship: the friends we already have, the friends we've lost, and the ones we're still finding. The date and details will be announced very soon.
Whoever you're sitting with this week, near or far, I hope you make time to connect.
Warmly,
Kathy
A little about me
Hi, I’m Kathy. A guide, a gatherer, a maker of sacred space, and a woman who found her way home to herself after years of putting everyone else first.
For years, I wore many hats at once. Single parent, community manager in a role I was promoted into before I believed I deserved it, event organizer. And later, a family caregiver. Learning all over again how to give without losing yourself in the giving. Caring for everyone, in every direction, all at the same time. What I had to learn, slowly and imperfectly, was that I mattered too. What I found on the other side of that, through stillness, creativity, and the women who gathered around my table, became everything I now offer.
There’s a place at the table with your name on it.
I’m excited to share a glimpse of The Hummingbird Nest. Here’s a snapshot of the home page. Come on in for a visit.
Dearest Kathy, it was so special to have you back visiting Victoria. Honey you are the queen of connection and over the years that I've known you, you have bought so many women together. Your kitchen table event last weekend was another adorable & special event. I love and appreciate you my friend. ... A