ON THIS MONTH’S THEME:
COMFORTABLE IN OUR OWN SKIN
When I look at this photograph of myself, I notice my wrinkles and a hairstyle I’d worn for ages, all things I might change about how I look. But that’s not what I remember about this moment. I remember the beauty of the lake, the quietness of the forest, and the women gathered together for something we had created and shared. I remember feeling proud and deeply connected.
It makes me wonder how often we look at ourselves and see only the surface, overlooking everything else that makes us who we are: the lives we’ve lived, the things we’ve made, the people we’ve brought together, and the moments that made us feel most alive. We are so much more than a photograph or a reflection in the mirror. Perhaps becoming comfortable in our own skin begins with seeing ourselves a little more fully.
Most of us, me included, have spent years trying to fit in, worrying about what others think, comparing ourselves to other women, feeling embarrassed by things we’ve said or done, and sometimes wishing we looked or behaved differently.
And then, somewhere along the way, things begin to change.
We start caring a little less about what people think. We become more accepting of our quirks. We laugh at things that once mortified us. We discover that the body we may have criticized for years has carried us through so much, and that the hard things we lived through helped us grow.
Maybe we’re still working on some of those things. That’s all right, too.
To me, this theme isn’t about reaching a place where we love absolutely everything about ourselves. It’s about feeling a little more at ease with the woman we are today.
A question to sit with
Think of a moment that still makes you cringe. What would you say to the woman who lived it, if she were sitting across the table from you?
For me, that moment came around a boardroom table. I had just been promoted to the position of Director of Family, Community & Support Services (F.C.S.S.) at the local municipal office where I had been a secretary for a few years. A fancy title, yet one I didn’t think I deserved, and one I couldn’t quite believe I held. You see, I was promoted by my boss; it wasn’t a job I’d even considered applying for. So on that day, at my first meeting with the Management Team, barely able to speak, I lifted my mug to take a sip of coffee, and my hand trembled so much that my boss quietly said, “It’s okay.” What a kind person he was. I needed someone at that point in my life to believe in me more than I believed in myself. I was far from being comfortable in my own skin. Looking back, it was a turning point in my life.
What moment comes to mind for you? I’d love to read it in the comments, or simply keep it for your own page.
You’re also invited to join us at 10:00 am MDT this coming Thursday, November 5th. We’re coming together live on Substack for a conversation before Rachel’s guest creative appearance. We’ll talk about self-care for women who have spent years caring for everyone else, how our skin changes as we age, and getting through a cold, dry winter. Come say hello and listen in.
Around the Kitchen Table
Around the Kitchen Table this month, our founding circle will share the moments that still make us cringe, and laugh about them together. I plan to share some of them with you throughout the month.
I’m setting up a new Kitchen Table soon, for women who’d love a monthly gathering of their own. If you’d like a seat, reply to this letter, and I’ll make sure you’re the first to know.
As we settle in for winter, I hope you’ll find a few moments this month to be gentle with yourself. Light a candle, rub a little cream into your hands, or pull out an old photo and see it with kinder eyes. And if you’d like some company along the way, I’d love to see you at one of my gatherings with Rachel.
Warmly,
Kathy
A little about me
Hi, I’m Kathy. A guide, a gatherer, a maker of sacred space, and a woman who found her way home to herself after years of putting everyone else first.
For years, I wore many hats at once. Single parent, community manager in a role I was promoted into before I believed I deserved it, event organizer. And later, a family caregiver. Learning all over again how to give without losing yourself in the giving. Caring for everyone, in every direction, all at the same time. What I had to learn, slowly and imperfectly, was that I mattered too. What I found on the other side of that, through stillness, creativity, and the women who gathered around my table, became everything I now offer.
There’s a place at the table with your name on it.
I’m excited to share a glimpse of The Hummingbird Nest. Here’s a snapshot of the home page. Come on in for a visit.
Such a lovely theme! 💜 It takes a dose of acceptance to cope with the physicality of aging. And I love how you weave in how to care for our bodies as we have cared for others.